April 20, 2019

April 20, 2019

I finally feel like I’m getting my life together. Things are going great at work, I’m up for a promotion, and I really am starting to feel like I can handle anything life has to throw at me. My relationship with my husband is stronger than ever, I feel like I’m really doing a good job at being the Mama my girls deserve, and balancing my secret life has never felt easier. Don’t have much to report otherwise. Just off, living my best life, at last.

Later that day…

Okay, maybe I spoke too soon. I obviously jinxed myself with that last diary entry. Isn’t that always how it happens, though? 

Anyway, so a couple of hours after I wrote my earlier entry, Greg and I went out for our weekly date night. It was a beautiful meal in a beautiful restaurant with my wonderful husband. All went great, but when we were on our way home, we were struck by a drunk driver! I wasn’t really worried about being hurt, but I did want to learn more about why my head was pounding, so we went to the hospital to get checked out.

Not long after we got settled into the ER, a nurse came in and informed us that I am pregnant

Maybe that’s why I’ve been in such a great mood lately! Obviously, we are overjoyed and couldn’t have been more surprised by the news, but it does make me wonder what I’m going to do now. Just when I felt like I was getting a hold on my life, we find out I’m pregnant and that just throws another wrench into things.

Like any mom, I just want to be the best I can be for my kids, and for my husband, so I’m trying not to let my anxiety over expanding our family get in the way of this exciting time in our lives, but I also need to figure out how this pregnancy is going to affect my work. 

I’ve wanted a big family for what feels like my whole life, and as much as the thought of coming clean about my life as a secret agent terrifies me, coming clean seems to be the only option now. The last thing I want to do is put my family at risk, but we’ll just have to be smarter than my enemies. I have never felt more strongly that we can overcome any odds.

Aubrey Miller

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